My Juicy Diet

I'm not shy about the fact that I tend to go for very extreme diet plans.  I've been all over the extreme diet spectrum. When I was 16 my entire family(minus my little brother who has an envious ability to shovel in Burger King and only Burger King and never gain a pound) went on the Atkins Diet. I lost a lot of weight, mostly because the diet was so weird that eventually I just stopped eating. When I realized again that I had free will, I quickly gained the weight back. Fast forward five years and I've turned into the nemesis of Dr. Atkins, a vegan. I did the militant vegan thing for a while, and have modified my diet since by adding in fish and the occasional dairy slip up. I still don't eat cheese. Cheese? Who even cares. 

  And in that time of militant veganhood I ventured into raw territory. I was never so nutty as the call myself a raw foodist, however, I did work in a high end raw vegan restaurant in the north end of Boston for a brief spell and most certainly ate an almost completely raw diet for a period of about 3 to 4 months. It amazes me that I ever stopped because I felt so good, light and happy. I was almost certain when I was in the midst of it, that I would never want to stop. That I had found my new way of being.  Working at the restaurant meant that I brought home all sorts of raw goodies that I neither had the time or equipment to make at home. Being a whole hog serious raw foodist requires some serious and expensive appliances. A high speed blender, juicer and a dehydrator are the essentials, and then you get into the fancy knives and food processors and mandolins and nut bags. When I worked at the raw food restaurant, our patrons would make jokes about how the food should be coming out quicker, its not like the chefs had to cook any thing! Were there even chefs back there?  And whether or not the food tasted good was so up to the individual. I for one loved most of the dishes, but thought that some of them tasted like straight up grass and dirt.  Other people might try everything on the menu and be totally grossed out.

But me, I like raw food.

  My coworker and I got on the subject of the raw food diet this past Friday and it got me thinking back to that time that I felt really good and really like what I was eating. After work on Friday I did the super markets run (I can never go to just one) and ended up picking up an insane amount of raw fruits and vegetables. I then went home and began to do my research, looking up why to do raw and juices to make. All of the sudden, I was hooked.

And then I realized that we have three juicers. Three? I have an old one of my mom's thats like enormous and scary looking and I had yet to use it, ever. And now I come to find out that my meat and potatoes boyfriend owns two juicers? It was like a sign. Juice, Hayley. Juice.
 So my juicing odyssey has begun! And my coworker and I have agreed to do raw up until dinner every day this week. I've gotten through day one. Next week, we might try going really extreme and doing whole days. We'll see how this week goes.

Here are my ups and downs to the raw vegan diet:

Down Side ----> Expensive.
This is obviously a down side to the raw vegan diet. At a time when it would be wise for me to not be spending so much freaking money on food, to be spending just a little more on food that just barely fills me seems a bit ludicrous. I'm hoping to balance this out by not drinking.

Not Sure Side-----> Not Drinking.
I can't decide if this is an up or a down side. Right now, its Monday night and I'd really like to celebrate this particular Monday night, like many of the Monday nights before it, with a glass of wine. Let it be said that I, and no one else, is making me feel obliged to not drink while doing this raw food stunt. I don't really care if wine is raw or not. I'm not going to go my whole life without it, but I figure, if you're going to do your body a solid, try to not drink while doing it. I hope my body is listening. I will probably crack tomorrow. If not sooner.

Down Side --------> The weather outside makes me want to eat crap.
This is a much easier diet to start in August than it is in March. It started snowing today. My salad followed by my green juice and my blood orange did not make me feel any better about the snow that was falling all over the place, reminding me that I'm cold, and that my food is cold, and that its totally not what I wanted to eat.

Up Side -------> My skin is kinda glowing
 No lie! My skin is more orangey than usual. Its probably because of the 40 carrots I had to juice to make one glass of carrot juice yesterday.

Down Side ------> My pee smells different.

Up Side ---------> My pee smells different.

Up Side ---------> I do not feel bad about eating a whole avocado all at once.
Did you know that an avocado has at least one million calories in it? Yeah for some reason I don't think that matters when you're on the raw diet.  So I'm gonna eat the heck out of avocados.

Up Side ---------> Juice is delicious
For serious. Juice is like really really yum yum. And yet, I've always felt bad about drinking juice out of those bottles that you buy at the store. They have sugar in them. This makes me sad. But when you're juicing your own juices, there is no sticker on the back of your bottle to tell you how many calories or sugars are in your juice, which means that there must be none.

Down Side ----------> Sometimes juice isn't delicious.
  I'm trying to get into green juices.  I'm slowly getting myself into a serious green juice. I don't know if I'm down with drinking something that straight up tastes like grass and leaves.  But I've been putting kale into my morning fruit smoothies, and it turns it green without making it taste very green. Does that count as a green smoothie? Probably not.

Down Side ------> Juicing takes forever
and ever and ever and ever. No lie. To make about 24 ounces of juice yesterday, I juiced 2 large cucumbers, a pound of carrots, most of a large carton of straw berries, 5 apples, and whole bag of spinach. And it took a long ass time.

Up Side ---------> Eating your meals through a straw is easy.
 Having a stressful day? Don't have time to sit down with a good old fork and knife and laboriously cut your tiny or large bites of something delicious and rewarding?  Don't let eating ruin your work productivity any more! Throw it in a blender and hit blend you time wasting fool! I don't even need to look at my food to eat it anymore. I just whistle it down the hatch while I write my emails and answer the phones.  Easiest way to eat your lunch ever. Get yourself a fun straw or something. Liquid lunch is sooo cool.  But I recommend it be raw foods. I have a feeling chicken parmesan is not going to do well in blended form.

Down Side --------> People will think you are a weirdo.
This needs zero explanation as I assume that most of you already thought I was big weirdo for even having a reason to write about the raw food diet, let alone put myself through one.

Down Side -------> Caffeine and sugar withdrawal
  I hit a point today where my caffeine withdrawal symptoms were so sucky that I could barely talk. This has nothing to do with the raw diet and all to do with the fact that I've become completely addicted to drinking coffee all day and every day. At least 3 cups a day, if not more. That can't be good for you, so I endured the pain of the massive searing all head encompassing throbbing that took over me this afternoon. I did take two advil. They were not raw. And I did not care.

Up Side -------> Raw diet will help you break bad habits
Like drinking coffee, a bottle of wine a day, chewing gum, and soda.

The Up Side....
When all is said and done, I will feel better for having done this. It's cleansing, healthy, and will ultimately help me break all the craptastic habits that have slowly been creeping back into my once immaculate diet. And I might lose a pound or two. Here's to hope!