Fancy Beer

I'm a classy lady. So classy in fact that I drink beer out of wine glasses.

  First of all, I'm very proud to say that my computer has officially moved back into my studio and out of the kitchen, where it has lived on the table for about the last two months.  This means that I might actually start getting work done again. I'll take it easy on myself about the fact that I have virtually painted nothing in the past two months due to having a new job, and also the fact that it's been winter and crummy and I haven't felt inspired, and I haven't had money to buy new materials, and...what else is a good excuse, oh its been really really cold in my studio room. I hate being cold. I can't paint in the cold.  So watch out people, because my art work is going to begin creeping its way onto the blog, as it should. 

  But back to the beer in the wine glass. 

   So I've been nearly three weeks strong on the mostly raw diet I set out to under take. My coworker and I have been excellent supports for one another, if I do say so myself, virtually feeding one another avocado, practically licking raw almond butter off of one another's hands and gushing over our newest dressing creations and incidental nut cheeses.  And we are feeling good and being all sorts of dorky about the fact that we are like so much better than everyone else because we have the will power to do a raw diet when most people can't. Shit did I type that out loud?

   I've been a juicing machine, I now own a dehydrator, I'm making nut milk, sprouting shit, eating salad like a mother fucker, kicked coffee and soda to the curb, and I am generally feeling quite pleased with myself.  But you know what I just can't shake? Drinky drinks. 

  I love alcoholic beverages. I hate to say it. I know I sound like such an alcoholic, sitting here, drinking beer out of a wine glass, exclaiming my love for alcohol, but DAMMIT. I just love it so. I don't even think I necessarily love getting drunk as much as I do just kicking back at the end of the night with a delicious chilled bev in hand. Something to sort of dull the headaches of the day. As soon as I poured that beer into my wine glass tonight, it was like a fun and spontaneous party had emerged within me. I felt delighted, inspired, calmed and soothed.  You're probably wondering why I really put it into a wine glass. That bottle of Stella Artois would have been sucked down so hard and so quickly in a bottled form that I wouldn't have even enjoyed it. And while a pint glass is appropriate, a wine glass is just more interesting to drink from. And I didn't have any wine.  

  The fact is that it was my full intent to not drink a drop of the stuff all week. I say this every Sunday night, as I sip on my last beer/glass of wine and say "See you Friday, friend." And I usually crash out by about 7pm on Monday. I made it all the way to Wednesday this week! This is nothing short of a miracle! A cause for celebrating in fact! Whats a celebration without imbibing? Water doesn't count!

  And what's more is the fact that Adam received a whopping 75 beers from his Aunt last week. Seventy five beers. Thats a lot of fuckin beer.  She had a surplus sitting in her spare fridge and needed to get rid of it, who better to give it to than the man that went dressed for Halloween as the most believable Bud Man the world has ever seen? Seriously, for a night, I was dating Bud Man. And it was totally ridiculous. 

  There he is in his natural habitat, 18 rack of bud in hand.  The best part is that the lady at the cash register did not even bat an eye lash at this absurdity. I, Dolly Parton, and my boyfriend, Bud Man. And we got no response. She was stone cold. 

  But I digress. Our fridge is one part beer, one part raw vegetables. A bit of a conundrum you see. The raw diet, and juicing specifically, asks a lot of fridge when it comes to space. Even before the beer, the fridge was basically over flowing with vegetation. You'd open the door and shit would literally topple out of the fridge. Now imagine this with 75 beers added to the mix.  It's quite possibly the greatest example of the divergence of our interests in health between my boy friend and I, he with his collection of beer, and I with my collection of vegetables. We're quite the pair, and we are currently making for quite the fridge. 

  So here I am, feeling NOTHING SHORT OF FORCED to drink beer on a Wednesday night. Out of wine glasses no less. Just so I can fit my precious vegetables into the fridge. What is a girl to do?